Today is Easter and the celebration of our Savior’s resurrection. Through this miracle and total act of selfless love for us, Jesus conquered death and made it possible for us to truly live and be forgiven so that we may have eternal life in Heaven. He opened the door for us to find redemption.
I am not comparing Chief to Jesus as being perfect; however, I am comparing him in that I think of Chief as like my earthly savior, offering me salvation from this downward evil path I so often turn to. Just as Christ has given us redemption on the cross, Chief has given me redemption in my collar. Now the cross itself is not the thing that provides salvation and eternal life (that is Jesus’ love and sacrifice), the cross is just the symbol we use to represent that gift Christ gave us; the same goes for the collar I wear, it's not the object that provides security, guidance, love and dominance, it is just the symbol to represent that gift Chief gives to me.
So on this day that I praise and thank Jesus for his redeeming love and most precious gift he can ever give to us, I would also like to use this day to thank Chief for his unconditional love and the best gift he could ever give to me, by choosing me, guiding me, and allowing me to be released from the restricting tomb I put myself in and rise up and be free to offer him the submission I so need to give. Just as I am humbled toward God and go to him on bended knees, I too go to Chief, humbled and on bended knees…
I kneel at your feet with my head down and eyes on the floor. You reach down, cup my chin and lift my face to meet yours and as our eyes lock, you penetrate into my soul. You see my submission, my respect and my love for you and I see your dominance, strength, and love for me in return. You stroke my face and I shiver from your touch, yearning for more.
When you collared me, I knew what you wanted. You wanted me, the real me, not the one I too often try to hide behind. You wanted me to be that submissive, yet stubborn and sassy cas you grew to love. You wanted me to never lose my spunk and always be true to myself and in doing so I would be true to you. You didn’t want a doormat; you wanted the mustang in me, my free spirit. You didn’t demand my respect and trust; you earned it.
Just as you knew what you wanted, I knew what I wanted, or should I say needed. I needed a strong and confident man who would accept my gift of submission completely. I needed a Christian man who would seek out God’s wisdom in guiding me and leading me on my journey. I needed a man who would tread the waters carefully when dealing with my heart, emotions, and insecurities. I needed a man who would accept my faults and patiently, lovingly and firmly deal with my stubborn outbursts and multiple failures. I needed a man that would watch me and learn how I think and what I need and then use that knowledge to help me grow and be who I was meant to be. I needed a man who would commandeer my heart, challenge my mind and dominate my body and soul. I found that man….in you.
You are responsible for me and you don’t take that job lightly. You don’t break me down and criticize my every flaw, but you loving correct and encourage me, lifting me up so that I may shine. Like a mechanic, you put so much time and energy in keeping me well oiled, maintained and controlled so I run smoothly and am where I need to be. I occasionally break down, but you have the tools and the ability to repair me and get me back on the road again, the right road.
I find comfort knowing that I am yours to do what you want with, I might be nervous and outwardly struggle with that but deep down I crave it and it brings me joy and security; knowing that you would never truly hurt me, never ask more than what I could give, never demand more than what I could be. You know me more than I know myself, you see in me much more than I could ever fathom, and you know all my weaknesses and my horrors from my past, but accept me anyway and love me.
Every thought I hold, every word I speak, every action I make and everything I am belongs to you and is yours to claim and/or control. I truly desire nothing more than to serve you and make you proud, and although my actions do not always prove that, my entire soul longs to please you and give you the respect you deserve.
I belong to you because on that day when you offered me your collar, I accepted it and in turn gave you permission to take me as your own. A permission I did not give lightly and have no intention of taking back. You do not dangle your power over my head, you do not beat me into submission, and you do not manipulate me into staying. I am free to go if I want, but I stay out of my own free will. It is my gift to you. It is my acceptance of your terms. It is my complete surrender.
I am yours and I am content.
~cas[C]
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