Friday, July 13, 2012

Happy Anniversary Sir!


It may have been Friday the 13th to everyone else, but to me it was our anniversary of sorts. 5 months ago, I accepted the collar of the man I love. I am sooooo lucky to have him in my life. Despite all the brain tumors, hearing loss, stress and everything else, I am still so blessed and happy to have Chief in my life. 
I know that most people will never understand the idea of a D/s relationship, but for me, it is all I will ever have. My need to be submissive and to be dominated is just as much a part of me as my need to love and care for someone. It completes me. It is a safe feeling and it allows me to be free to be all that I am.

But not just anyone can be my demand my submission, in fact NOONE can demand it. It is a gift I choose to give. It is a gift to a special kind of man, chosen by me, and sent for me by God. It is a decision I do not take lightly, but one made after hours of thinking on it and praying and seeking God’s wisdom.

The man I call my Dom is one of a kind and even though I have given him my submission and accepted his collar, it is I who feels like he is the gift to me.

What makes him so special and worthy to be my Dom and my love?


First and foremost, he is a Christian and loves God with all his heart. He trusts Jesus and leans on Him, praying and reading His word, following Him and allowing God to guide him in his life. He is confident yet humble. He isn’t perfect, nor does he pretend to be. He is slow to anger and quick to listen. He is one of the most patient men I know, which for me is important, because I know I can be very strong-willed, stubborn, and trying at times.


He is firm but fair. He leads by example and always listens. He tries to provide for my every need and care as much as he can. He wants to shape me and help me become a better Christian and woman, seeing in me someone, who in his mind can achieve much higher and much greater than I can see. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. He takes great pride in my successes and he should because after all, he helped mold me. He sees it as his job to protect me, both from the outside world and from myself.

He hates to see me hurting and even though he hates to have to punish me, he knows it is something that is needed. This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to shape me to his needs and desires; it takes strength to be my confidant, my shoulder, my anchor; it takes strength to let me out in the world when all he wants to do is hold me close in his arms; it takes strength to do what is needed when I have to be disciplined; it takes strength and he has it, and I am grateful and respect him for it.

He knows the value of discipline, though at times his soft heart gets the best of him and that is ok too. He knows that in order for me to be the best I can possibly be, he must be firm and follow through unless geared otherwise by circumstances. He uses God’s guidance, his personal experiences and wisdom in life and his ever growing knowledge of me to provide a proper direction and punishment when needed. He knows this hurts me and that my tears and my cries tear at his heart, but he also knows that it is for my own good.

He provides something else important as well… acceptance and security.

I am safe in his arms because he knows me, all of me and he still loves me. He knows my secrets, my nightmares, my horrors and of course my faults and it doesn't matter. To him, I am beautiful and he accepts every part of me as I do him. He works to emphasize the good in me while improving the bad. He loves me as much for who I am now as for who I will become in the future with his guidance. He would not and could not invest so much of himself in someone he did not love completely and I need to remember that when my insecurities start to haunt me.

This love would not be possible without respect. I need to give him the respect I have for him and show him the gratefulness in my heart for who he is and what he does. He should be able to be feel great pride in me. He needs to know that I can hold my own in the outside world but still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift I have given to him and he knows that I can choose to be with any man, but I choose him. I need to keep that in mind that he chose me as well. He knows that with that, it makes discipline a priority in our lives. I must trust him, but in order for me to do so, I must know that he means what he say and trust me, he does and it constantly deepens my respect for him. The discipline is also important when it comes to my protection. He is the one who makes the decisions about how I relate to the world in general, in our relationship and in my personal life and I need to remember that and honor that more than I do without struggling. His discipline ensures that I follow the rules he give me, making him the male authority in my life and he uses that power to enrich my life rather than crush it.

Thank you Jesus for giving him to me and help me to be the best sub I can be for him from now on. Help my respect for him match his love for me.

He is my earthly savior, my shining star sent down from heaven to guide me and lead me to where God wants me to be. He is my skin on God and I am truly blessed for I have found my lucky star, my compass on this deployment, my captain, my Quartermaster…


~cas[C]




Chief's Response


Baby this has been an amazing journey between the two of us, and although you have worn my collar for 5 months, you have been in my heart much longer. We have come so far and have so much further to go. With God’s help the skies are the limit.


You have permeated my soul and I thank God daily that you chose me to give your submission to.
That collar that I gave you and that you wear proudly is just a symbol of our love and how we take care of each other.


Some of the most amazing things (that I stand in awe as I watch)
1. Your selflessness. You are always there for me day and night and you serve me.
2. Your perseverance. Despite what life throws at you, you roll up your sleeves and face it boldly
3. Your strength. Mental strength, physical strength are both so strong. You and I know what you have gone through and you have bounced back
4. Your love for others. You love people so much and I follow your lead
5. Your love and faith in God. Without this the other four would not be possible.


As we celebrate this 5 month anniversary. I am reminded that we are such a great team and that’s why God put us together.

Happy Anniversary, I love you baby. Hugs

Chief [c]

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