tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47607116830938525232023-11-16T06:28:57.976-08:00Chief "n" cas' 1MCA place to unwind, unleash and unhide the D/s aspect of our relationship for ourselves and others.casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-83445133390409448862012-07-13T23:54:00.001-07:002012-07-20T03:46:51.020-07:00Happy Anniversary Sir!<br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It may have been Friday the 13th to everyone else, but to me it was our anniversary of sorts. 5 months ago, I accepted the collar of the man I love. I am sooooo lucky to have him in my life. Despite all the brain tumors, hearing loss, stress and everything else, I am still so blessed and happy to have Chief in my life. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that most people will never understand the idea of a
D/s relationship, but for me, it is all I will ever have. My need to be
submissive and to be dominated is just as much a part of me as my need to love
and care for someone. It completes me. It is a safe feeling and it allows me to
be free to be all that I am.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But not just anyone can be my demand my submission, in fact
NOONE can demand it. It is a gift I choose to give. It is a gift to a special
kind of man, chosen by me, and sent for me by God. It is a decision I do not
take lightly, but one made after hours of thinking on it and praying and
seeking God’s wisdom.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The man I call my Dom is one of a kind and even though I
have given him my submission and accepted his collar, it is I who feels like he
is the gift to me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What makes him so special and worthy to be my Dom and my
love?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First and foremost, he is a Christian and loves God with all
his heart. He trusts Jesus and leans on Him, praying and reading His word,
following Him and allowing God to guide him in his life. He is confident yet
humble. He isn’t perfect, nor does he pretend to be. He is slow to anger and
quick to listen. He is one of the most patient men I know, which for me is
important, because I know I can be very strong-willed, stubborn, and trying at times. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is firm but fair. He leads by example and always listens.
He tries to provide for my every need and care as much as he can. He wants to
shape me and help me become a better Christian and woman, seeing in me someone,
who in his mind can achieve much higher and much greater than I can see. He
believes in me more than I believe in myself. He takes great pride in my
successes and he should because after all, he helped mold me. He sees it as his
job to protect me, both from the outside world and from myself. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hates to see me hurting and even though he hates to have
to punish me, he knows it is something that is needed. This takes great
strength on his part. It takes strength to shape me to his needs and desires;
it takes strength to be my confidant, my shoulder, my anchor; it takes strength
to let me out in the world when all he wants to do is hold me close in his
arms; it takes strength to do what is needed when I have to be disciplined; it
takes strength and he has it, and I am grateful and respect him for it. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE51Qul1GCZDsDgG01xYEgTVnbtB2lGFdNBl8Hf_7AcSmX3PxIRrffj15Ks-ZTtvOjkYGU99oEznrqzs_HayAgJOwwJJ91jTugYOivuaqzZ668M70tH2jPn5ulK75VimJE-kStjFPmVlnO/s1600/love-and-discipline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE51Qul1GCZDsDgG01xYEgTVnbtB2lGFdNBl8Hf_7AcSmX3PxIRrffj15Ks-ZTtvOjkYGU99oEznrqzs_HayAgJOwwJJ91jTugYOivuaqzZ668M70tH2jPn5ulK75VimJE-kStjFPmVlnO/s200/love-and-discipline.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He knows the value of discipline, though at times his soft
heart gets the best of him and that is ok too. He knows that in order for me to
be the best I can possibly be, he must be firm and follow through unless geared
otherwise by circumstances. He uses God’s guidance, his personal experiences
and wisdom in life and his ever growing knowledge of me to provide a proper
direction and punishment when needed. He knows this hurts me and that my tears
and my cries tear at his heart, but he also knows that it is for my own good. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He provides something else important as well… acceptance and
security. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am safe in his arms because he knows me, all of me and he
still loves me. He knows my secrets, my nightmares, my horrors and of course my
faults and it doesn't matter. To him, I am beautiful and he accepts every part of
me as I do him. He works to emphasize the good in me while improving the bad.
He loves me as much for who I am now as for who I will become in the future
with his guidance. He would not and could not invest so much of himself in
someone he did not love completely and I need to remember that when my
insecurities start to haunt me.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRK1yLzRyRmqElkE9LY1bVlTXYRmfEbxgcn9BVKj0p9baKcldJREXP06Qz71QqL-vNsVB_o-fJN1oFhYsYNCYoVD1A_sqh4FWbicBhmU7Pmtde3abiFA-M4TEpnDsxNuQ1o7YIQJdnZM-/s1600/41581_44062788970_5382_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRK1yLzRyRmqElkE9LY1bVlTXYRmfEbxgcn9BVKj0p9baKcldJREXP06Qz71QqL-vNsVB_o-fJN1oFhYsYNCYoVD1A_sqh4FWbicBhmU7Pmtde3abiFA-M4TEpnDsxNuQ1o7YIQJdnZM-/s200/41581_44062788970_5382_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This love would not be possible without respect. I need to
give him the respect I have for him and show him the gratefulness in my heart
for who he is and what he does. He should be able to be feel great pride in me.
He needs to know that I can hold my own in the outside world but still submit
to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift I have given to him and he
knows that I can choose to be with any man, but I choose him. I need to keep
that in mind that he chose me as well. He knows that with that, it makes
discipline a priority in our lives. I must trust him, but in order for me to do
so, I must know that he means what he say and trust me, he does and it
constantly deepens my respect for him. The discipline is also important when it
comes to my protection. He is the one who makes the decisions about how I
relate to the world in general, in our relationship and in my personal life and
I need to remember that and honor that more than I do without struggling. His
discipline ensures that I follow the rules he give me, making him the male
authority in my life and he uses that power to enrich my life rather than crush
it. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you Jesus for giving him to me and help me to be the
best sub I can be for him from now on. Help my respect for him match his love
for me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is my earthly savior, my shining star sent down from
heaven to guide me and lead me to where God wants me to be. He is my skin on
God and I am truly blessed for I have found my lucky star, my compass on this
deployment, my captain, my Quartermaster…</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhevn3Q2ucjdgQDI8avlwjV-keuLnJHD4fYUvMKNfZv-MGNg4ZkjqFa64o_7mMz6Un1nFU7AxRLfwWNdL2bpeYYMAqFV8xka5V5CFtQmdkOa8Ejz_LP9kChkahWsODE_Fn8ZzzYG_JaZFaj/s1600/qm+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhevn3Q2ucjdgQDI8avlwjV-keuLnJHD4fYUvMKNfZv-MGNg4ZkjqFa64o_7mMz6Un1nFU7AxRLfwWNdL2bpeYYMAqFV8xka5V5CFtQmdkOa8Ejz_LP9kChkahWsODE_Fn8ZzzYG_JaZFaj/s200/qm+heart.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief's Response</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 15pt;">Baby this has been an amazing journey between
the two of us, and although you have worn my collar for 5 months, you have been
in my heart much longer. We have come so far and have so much further to go.
With God’s help the skies are the limit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">You have permeated my soul and I thank God
daily that you chose me to give your submission to. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">That collar that I gave you and that you wear
proudly is just a symbol of our love and how we take care of each other. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">Some of the most amazing things (that I stand
in awe as I watch) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">1. Your selflessness. You are always there for
me day and night and you serve me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">2. Your perseverance. Despite what life throws
at you, you roll up your sleeves and face it boldly<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">3. Your strength. Mental strength, physical
strength are both so strong. You and I know what you have gone through and you
have bounced back<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">4. Your love for others. You love people so
much and I follow your lead<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">5. Your love and faith in God. Without this
the other four would not be possible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">As we celebrate this 5 month anniversary. I am
reminded that we are such a great team and that’s why God put us together. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">Happy Anniversary, I love you baby. Hugs<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="color: #20124d;">Chief [c]</span></span></div>
</div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-67323350202383488482012-07-13T15:37:00.000-07:002015-03-01T20:41:05.803-08:00Audio Responses on Spanking Tube... :)<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So we added to audio spanking/photo video to Spanking Tube as well. I feared we would get negative comments because there was not video of the spanking. However, surprisingly, that was not the case. We received several positive and encouraging comments about it. One of them was particularly awesome and made me feel privileged and happy to share it. I am still embarrassed by it, but also proud of it as well. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This the comment that stood out the most and really made me appreciate the audio more and proud of the fact we shared it with the web... (click photo to view larger)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2RYiryFFLUHbmn7i7ESx5vzuPNOPfDx5yzpyj2QgCX2MKgBR7russLvsENIkBfiXiE_8wzWvItx8gAHmznT8xISDtK2C2pefGBnq_YjE1u2A7WRDQejFRFp9MnZssO98akxyegmNT1xnA/s1600/roselips+comment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2RYiryFFLUHbmn7i7ESx5vzuPNOPfDx5yzpyj2QgCX2MKgBR7russLvsENIkBfiXiE_8wzWvItx8gAHmznT8xISDtK2C2pefGBnq_YjE1u2A7WRDQejFRFp9MnZssO98akxyegmNT1xnA/s400/roselips+comment.jpg" height="222" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is my comment back... </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(click photo to view larger)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuc68g5cRk3WzA1vjKtnVecHGPL1COj2sZ4PGQzOODuLDowvatOAgHhn3ZLAZ9i4A-QKoxz7wEKZbLI-ELwkCp6HiySAjLgBs_IXYU_OkkAWqw5R_RlxX1Vp9RSeuZUnCiZXnRqTaJyD5p/s1600/my+comment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuc68g5cRk3WzA1vjKtnVecHGPL1COj2sZ4PGQzOODuLDowvatOAgHhn3ZLAZ9i4A-QKoxz7wEKZbLI-ELwkCp6HiySAjLgBs_IXYU_OkkAWqw5R_RlxX1Vp9RSeuZUnCiZXnRqTaJyD5p/s400/my+comment.jpg" height="367" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you haven't yet heard it, it can be found at <a href="http://www.spankingtube.com/video/16092/heavy-foot-heavy-paddling-audio-spanking-only-with-photos">http://www.spankingtube.com/video/16092/heavy-foot-heavy-paddling-audio-spanking-only-with-photos</a>. Thanks for all the support and encouragement. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span><br />
<br />
<br />casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-77070605481408449432012-07-11T11:36:00.000-07:002015-03-01T20:44:52.589-08:00heavy foot = heavy paddling and more :(<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 14.4pt;">Speeding is probably one
of my worst habits and the thing I struggle with the most. It is like I never
learn, but I hope this will do the trick... sniffles.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last week, I was talking
on the phone with Chief and without thinking I shouted at myself "Oh crap!"
when I passed a cop. Well of course that got him asking questions and I
confessed I was speeding. Not just a little either, 24 over. I knew I was in
for a spanking, but I had no idea he had this in mind. This is not the first
time I have gotten in trouble, I don't think I can count the number of times I
have been spanked for this and Chief had enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew I was going to
get spanked for it, but I was under the impression it would be an otk
with his hand and 24 total swats with the bath brush (apparently he had “24 per
cheek” in mind). That was the only spanking I was supposed to get that day, but
that wasn't the case either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX59R4KOnhgQbPmOi_YXR-1l-CP-VgO1AjKe7UHtMKuYI9Lt5h70M6u3d92noWM4HVWmuZg58RMUmvN3wz3_seZ8YSFl1ITKWEIJetTamVvvCfq1up5rzAd2N4wPWdn4BI0qVfKymmKM0v/s1600/SAM_1052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX59R4KOnhgQbPmOi_YXR-1l-CP-VgO1AjKe7UHtMKuYI9Lt5h70M6u3d92noWM4HVWmuZg58RMUmvN3wz3_seZ8YSFl1ITKWEIJetTamVvvCfq1up5rzAd2N4wPWdn4BI0qVfKymmKM0v/s200/SAM_1052.JPG" height="125" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 14.4pt;">The night before, I was pretty sassy before bed. He said we would handle it when we woke up. I'd forgotten about it by morning, but soon remembered when straight out of the shower, I went for a very long wet bottom spanking with his hand
and small paddle. So come time for this one, I was already very sore. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He called me over and I
knew what was coming... or I thought I knew that is. After a little
complaining, he made me not only get the bath brush, but also the dreaded spoon
I hate as well. The otk wasn't too long but I was already sore from the
spanking earlier. Then it was time for the bath brush... I HATE the bath brush.
I think Wal-Mart should be sued just for being able to sell it. It was the
worst 4 dollars I have ever spent, even though I am sure Chief would tell you
it is the best. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After what seemed like
forever, it was over and as I am crying on the bed, he proceeds to tell me that
he recorded the audio for the blog! I was sooooooo shocked and I begged for
quite a while for it to not be put up, but I lost. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So as much as I didn't
enjoy the spanking, I hope that you will enjoy hearing Chief dishing out some
justice for my lead foot. This is the first time we ever recorded it and it was
not planned. The video can be found at <a href="http://www.spankingtube.com/video/16092/heavy-foot-heavy-paddling-audio-spanking-only-with-photos">http://www.spankingtube.com/video/16092/heavy-foot-heavy-paddling-audio-spanking-only-with-photos</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief’s input <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Speeding is an ongoing
struggle for cas and one of my biggest concerns for her is always safety.
I have lost count on the number of times I have had to take cas in hand to deal
with this issue and my patience has run out. After hearing she was going 24mph
over, I decided to do something a little different. Unbeknownst to her, I
recorded this spanking. I hope that this will add to the punishment and maybe
finally sink into her stubborn skull that the speeding needs to stop. If this
doesn’t work than more drastic matters will have to be put in place, so
hopefully this will steer her in the right direction, and this is once where I hope she speeds to get there.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief[c]</span></div>
casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-11869983593386295192012-06-14T08:05:00.000-07:002015-03-01T20:36:09.098-08:00Rude Reflection = Red Reminders :(<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The collar I wear symbolizes the love, devotion, respect, obedience, vows,and EVERYTHING that our relationship together means. He chose to give it to me and I chose to accept it. With that collar comes responsibilities on both our parts. And because I wear Chief's collar, I represent him in all that I do and say. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last week I did something very out of character for me; I was disrespectful to another Dom when he was trying to bring up my behavior in a chat room we were both in. I could list my reasons, but they are unimportant, what is important is I got defensive and snapped back at him treating him rudely. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In those maybe 7 minutes or less of time, I managed to not only be disrespectful to someone who was only trying to help and was a Dom to boot, but also disrespected Chief by representing him in a bad manner. He should have pride in his sub, not be ashamed of me. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6w-BJxeZOpHEb3JigpTruuN3d4FY3LSqg5iKnaDc7NbHUncg4G_uXsF0ylR1rdlUhF1RNhseIEQlOgpzS7Jnf95bTdOV0yHOR3SzO3RydH6TZckQV4dkBDbXdYwozVaIcxJGpAu2qQqjO/s1600/SAM_1049.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6w-BJxeZOpHEb3JigpTruuN3d4FY3LSqg5iKnaDc7NbHUncg4G_uXsF0ylR1rdlUhF1RNhseIEQlOgpzS7Jnf95bTdOV0yHOR3SzO3RydH6TZckQV4dkBDbXdYwozVaIcxJGpAu2qQqjO/s320/SAM_1049.JPG" height="112" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would like to first apologize to the Dom I talked to (his name shall remain anonymous) for treating him rudely. My actions were uncalled for and inappropriate. Let it be known to you that I was paddled long and hard with my wooden bath brush; an implement I abhor immensely, but remains a very effective tool. :( I am both repentant and extremely sore as I write this. Please forgive me and be assured that Chief not only took care of it but that I have learned from it as well. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next, I would like to apologize to Chief. I love you so much and you bend over backwards to be there for me in whatever way you can, whether it be giving me a shoulder to cry on or a knee to cry over and I want nothing more than to bring you joy and pride in knowing I am yours. My actions are a direct reflection of you and even though this is a very rare occurrence for me, I feel horrible that I represented you in that way. My goal is for you to be able to beam with pride in owning me not embarrassed and upset. Please forgive me Sir. I have learned my lesson and it will not happen again. I love you more than myself. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>
casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-31853620459421608102012-06-14T08:03:00.001-07:002012-06-15T14:54:13.498-07:00Update...<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not sure who if any reads or follows our blog, but for those of you who do I apologize for not posting much if any lately. Things have been kinda crazy in our lives. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On top of everyday life struggles, I recently found out that the cause of my hearing loss was not what they originally had diagnosed me with, but instead was caused by 2 brain tumors on and around my acoustic nerve on both sides of my head.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While this is good news in that now I know what actually caused it and that it is non cancerous and treatable, it is still dangerous and extremely stressful. I am currently undergoing radiation therapy, which is physically, mentally and emotionally challenging. The process itself doesn't hurt at all, but the effects it is having on me are hard to deal with. I have lost all my hair including my eyebrows yesterday (which I wasn't prepared for those) because the radiation is on my head as well as it makes me very fatigued and weak. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #20124d;">I have been relaxing and taking a break from focusing on the blog. There will be occasional updates here and there but for the next several weeks they will not be regular as before. </span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #20124d;">Thank you for your support and understanding. I hope you still continue to read, enjoy and possibly even learn from the blog. </span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh an FYI... even though I am under a lot of stress with all this, I am still being held accountable for my actions. Translation... my bottom is not being spared just because my brain is being treated. LOL Sometimes, it just takes a little longer to get to my punishments than we would like because I might be too weak or tired at that time, but trust me, they still get addressed eventually. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #20124d;">However, Chief is being so supportive and understanding. I would not be able to do this without him and I am eternally grateful for his love and everything. Thank you Sir, I love you buzz! :) </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baby,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I have never been prouder of you during this time. Your strength and resilience amazes me. You handle struggles better than anyone I have ever met. I promise that we make it through this speed bump together. (holds out my hand) Take my hand baby and let me lead you through this. If you can't walk, I will carry you. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Don't worry about the blog, this is low on the priority list compared to all the things we need to take care of. We will update when you are feeling better.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">-Chief [c]</span></span></span>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-40676718174774081052012-05-21T12:12:00.001-07:002012-05-21T12:24:16.310-07:00Disney Discipline<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg7iuqnEde2xuUeX26aj-5yM5XuHCr0GQFt8FTNWX_OQsWvE2x0y3lF5ZMlVPMC4I_yZ61r6Ergquee6LIc2SssjoutSjBeoUwR7bYWHGUwaz3CQvxfv3gzIS7mqT3Dof1rIUTEGKbHsm/s1600/mickey+spanking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg7iuqnEde2xuUeX26aj-5yM5XuHCr0GQFt8FTNWX_OQsWvE2x0y3lF5ZMlVPMC4I_yZ61r6Ergquee6LIc2SssjoutSjBeoUwR7bYWHGUwaz3CQvxfv3gzIS7mqT3Dof1rIUTEGKbHsm/s320/mickey+spanking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">On top of my fridge I have <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1337627217_0" style="line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Mickey and Minnie Mouse</span> stuffed animals that match my kitchen decor. Being the spanko that I am, I decided to arrange them in a way that would make Chief laugh, think it was cute and in turn thinking I was cute so it would hopefully fulfill my attempt in softening him up for my upcoming punishment I had coming today. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Did he laugh? </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Yes! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Did he think it was cute?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Yes!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Did he think I was cute? </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Yes! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">Did it work to soften it up? </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">HELL NO! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">*grumbles... but I still think the pic is worth sharing even tho he did not take it easy on me. I am posting this on my tummy as I lay here with a burning bottom, but I am so very grateful and blessed to have such a loving yet firm Dom who takes the time to correct me when I need it. Thank you and I love you Sir! :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">~cas[C]</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">A reply to cas,</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was funny babe and you are too cute, but I will repeat my comments from this morning "It looks like we have eyes on us and they are not only watching us, but following our example too. Since it clearly appears that I am a role model and influential to Mickey's understanding of this lifestyle, I will just have to make sure to show him how it is done and let him know that follow through and being firm are essential don't you agree? I mean you wouldn't want to let them down and steer them in the wrong direction would you?"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.2em;">Chief [c]</span></div>
</div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-32976668179774677022012-05-20T18:00:00.000-07:002012-05-20T18:10:54.854-07:00Sleep eludes her!<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrmVdT6c-JVLDBUL16FxGeOEVmIsBiQIi1VJqZTWMK9Ya5B1iB2pYX2_tE-_QdVC-77r-AQpKyvhgS2BP9OphUf_-KDe8z1-CTLxvbFcHL8lFA0QkA4E3xgpGyrJnCAbfICLxx1pDRZpF/s1600/early+to+bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrmVdT6c-JVLDBUL16FxGeOEVmIsBiQIi1VJqZTWMK9Ya5B1iB2pYX2_tE-_QdVC-77r-AQpKyvhgS2BP9OphUf_-KDe8z1-CTLxvbFcHL8lFA0QkA4E3xgpGyrJnCAbfICLxx1pDRZpF/s200/early+to+bed.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sleep have been a struggle between cas and I ever since I
met her. Her first spanking I ever gave her was over me extending her bed
time and the next morning when she had to get up at 5 am. I found out that she stayed
up till like 4 am. When I asked her if she went to bed on time, she
admitted she didn't. When I asked her what time she went to bed, she came
back with some attitude saying, “what does it matter?” Well all that got her was a red bottom and some lines.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fast forward to now and she not only pulled an all nighter,
but then missed work. That is unacceptable for a woman. I would expect that
from a teen but not a grown woman. </span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was livid. She had to apologize to her boss in writing.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixVP7mEpi_NBiE4YWK8b1SRH47wj7pdBA4bxzdPyvfkqYQcxn5NK8lgiv5bB2W1MjS-brX6ZXOdCRj34MSYQ5g65Jl6urOFBGJXM4VyG7T0wPVmcU6RtgvD16OYYOPTGkxMJycsfHFA4xI/s1600/paddle1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixVP7mEpi_NBiE4YWK8b1SRH47wj7pdBA4bxzdPyvfkqYQcxn5NK8lgiv5bB2W1MjS-brX6ZXOdCRj34MSYQ5g65Jl6urOFBGJXM4VyG7T0wPVmcU6RtgvD16OYYOPTGkxMJycsfHFA4xI/s200/paddle1.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A hint for tomorrow!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow morning I am going to
roll up my sleeves and I can guarantee that her bottom will be black and blue.
I do not put up with irresponsible behavior like this.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow I will post what
exactly I punished her with. It is not going to be for the faint of heart and
she will be sleeping on her tummy tomorrow night.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief[c] </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-13973325452222044872012-05-20T14:21:00.000-07:002012-05-20T14:22:31.489-07:00slumber blunder...<br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me start by saying I struggle with sleep and I tend
to fight it with everything in me, I don’t know why but I do, especially when
Chief is not here. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief was gone camping with some buddies this weekend
while I stayed home. Now granted, I don’t have a bedtime on the weekends, but
that still means I need to get to bed at a reasonable hour and attempt to get
some sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssDyyrFeOrFcw5YZG3PtAi4QyO5VFsVXaYwMrtPeLhYFdNp0PPbfWiKCTDheRMh75mWAoeiM6zeyGOHc2NaWDSEcGaJWCFD_MkSG-4Sxr3aI79CfVC8vUY3SyGBzAE0Pv-78dd4ijzBHq/s1600/PhotoShare%252814%2529.jpg.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssDyyrFeOrFcw5YZG3PtAi4QyO5VFsVXaYwMrtPeLhYFdNp0PPbfWiKCTDheRMh75mWAoeiM6zeyGOHc2NaWDSEcGaJWCFD_MkSG-4Sxr3aI79CfVC8vUY3SyGBzAE0Pv-78dd4ijzBHq/s200/PhotoShare%252814%2529.jpg.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Friday night I didn't do that. I was missing Chief,
I didn't take my pills and I was chatting in the D/s room on paltalk I
just found. I tend to fight sleep anyways but with me chatting it
was easy to lose track of time. Occasionally I would think “wow it
is getting late, I should get to bed” but would stay a bit
longer and then plan to get off.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The thing is… time got away from me and before I knew it,
the sun was coming up. It was around 6:00 am before I got off the computer and
yes I was very tired. I knew Chief was calling me at 7 to talk on his morning
walk and so I didn’t want to fall asleep before that, so I took a shower to try
to wake myself up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He called and of course he immediately asked “How did you
sleep?” At first I tried to trick him and answered back with “Well it wasn’t a
good night”, but he was too smart for that and once again asked how I slept. I
was planning on telling him anyways but I was trying to postpone it. I told him
and of course he was pretty upset and rightfully so. I knew I was in trouble
and come </span></span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Monday I was gonna be hurting.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I got off of the phone with him I decided to lay
down for a very little bit. This is the part of the post where I need to also
say that I was supposed to work at the zoo today, helping out with a special event.
Because I knew I would sleep hard, I made sure that my phone alarm was not only
near my head so I could feel the vibrations and wake up like normal, but I also
made sure it was actually touching my head. There was no way I would not feel
this and wake up in time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRyLzeqUP7kk9pxfNQKXTbW2XezgBniC6aRRzM9-bzPvJ6uqcF5yCexyNtlabsvFkrIlD5Alhx4XPKcux3GOPMl-t8YSP621e6XKOUufTTDinv2PEnbYRvhEATuVvUXIPwMzHP1QQMpv2/s1600/alarm+clock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRyLzeqUP7kk9pxfNQKXTbW2XezgBniC6aRRzM9-bzPvJ6uqcF5yCexyNtlabsvFkrIlD5Alhx4XPKcux3GOPMl-t8YSP621e6XKOUufTTDinv2PEnbYRvhEATuVvUXIPwMzHP1QQMpv2/s200/alarm+clock.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That was probably true, except for the fact that in my
sleepiness, I set my alarm for pm instead of am. My alarm never went off, and I
never woke up. When I finally did wake, it was way past the time I needed to go
in to work and the event was almost over. I was mortified! I do not miss work
and people were counting on me. I emailed my boss and let her know what happened. Then took a deep breath and texted Chief. I was
somewhat vague but within minutes he called and demanded the whole story. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me tell you… if you thought I was in trouble with the
not sleeping thing that is nothing compared to the now combined trouble of
missing work. He was so disappointed in me, I let myself down, him down and
everyone at the zoo down. While on the phone, my boss emails me back telling me
that it is ok, not to worry about it and that these things happen. I was
shocked but grateful. Chief was relieved but in no way calmed by it. He replied
“She may be being nice, but I am not going to” I shuddered. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing he can say can make me feel worse than I already
do, but that doesn’t mean it is not his job to lecture and correct me
regardless, and trust me lecture and correct is what he will do. I cannot believe
I was that irresponsible and immature and I know that whatever punishment I
have coming tomorrow is justified, deserved and needed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never want to make that same mistake again and I know that
with Chief’s help I won’t. I know that my bottom is not the only thing that is
going to pay tomorrow. I know that I will have stricter rules set and he will
watch me more carefully and that reassures me of both his love and his care for
me to succeed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQuXh2XNsR1ODdHq0QC_muaBtWyQ4cbYrtY6XWp0k1mkCTp-BBt3rviTfh_T7yJqSdeRqdrzFiwy0OoJPE-OZACvnra45Br28TSYMpxcCTKsDDHmISJU2HLenqnlC6Ih27b4EjjElrHeq4/s1600/no+late.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQuXh2XNsR1ODdHq0QC_muaBtWyQ4cbYrtY6XWp0k1mkCTp-BBt3rviTfh_T7yJqSdeRqdrzFiwy0OoJPE-OZACvnra45Br28TSYMpxcCTKsDDHmISJU2HLenqnlC6Ih27b4EjjElrHeq4/s200/no+late.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I already have set my phone to military time so that the
am/pm mix up will never happen again, but I know that we will be having a long
discussion on what else needs to change to prevent not only me staying up all
night again, but me being so irresponsible that by staying up I missed work. I am assuming my no weekend bedtime is a thing of the past.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am truly remorseful and want to change so I will take
this punishment humbly and obediently, even though I am so nervous I can barely
type. Chief I am sorry I disappointed you and I will assure you that this will
never happen again. I know you forgive me but I still need to pay for what I
did and I also need to in time forgive myself. Thank you for loving me in spite
of my irresponsibility and carelessness and for wanting to do everything you
can to help me better myself and succeed. I could not ask for a better friend,
lover or Dom. I am on my knees before you and I love you with all my heart. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-90322339910290196202012-05-20T12:33:00.002-07:002012-05-20T13:12:52.793-07:00And it burns, burns, burns... the cream of fire!<br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before I even start my post I would like to apologize for not writing anything the last two weeks. Our lives have been crazy busy and intense. I will try to be better at keeping the blog more up to date from now on. Now to the post... this is response to my silent spanking on Tuesday that he posted about, I am just not getting to it. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OH MY GOODNESS!!! Note to self and warning to all others
reading… Capsaicin Cream is EVIL!!! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMGtiJqzlF_Nexo5X4XGu7cLlBEqkoPOBtLZ7q4EfMCUkTOasR5eqTejQHQTh2zfK7a-o_Mrkl3j-Uqoutl0GJD7_aqLPQxg7qWe_i79jresTKU3TYqSwsk5uuIe89N5gPyF5L_Cj_dHH1/s1600/fire-heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMGtiJqzlF_Nexo5X4XGu7cLlBEqkoPOBtLZ7q4EfMCUkTOasR5eqTejQHQTh2zfK7a-o_Mrkl3j-Uqoutl0GJD7_aqLPQxg7qWe_i79jresTKU3TYqSwsk5uuIe89N5gPyF5L_Cj_dHH1/s200/fire-heart.jpg" width="153" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not going into what I did, but it was something worse than normal. We both knew the punishment could not wait as I was already beating myself up over it and my heart was burning inside from the hurt and mess I caused, as was Chief's heart as well I imagine. The problem was that we have
been so busy that between my doctor’s appointments and his meetings, we had to resort to an
alternative. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now I have had lines to write, and soap or Tabasco in the mouth,
grounding, you name it, but this needed to have the feel of a spanking even
though we didn’t have the time. The hand spanking was a quick one but still
hurt, anyone who says “just a hand spanking” has never really gotten one I
think. Anyways, I knew what was coming after. It has been years since I have
had something this extreme on my bottom. I do occasionally get Icy Hot after a
spanking, but let me be the first to tell you that Icy Hot ain’t got nothing on
this stuff.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At first it didn’t burn at all, it actually soothed it and felt
nice, but I knew that it would soon change. He had to leave for a meeting but as I waited for the fire to start, he made me sit on a hardwood chair and not move until he told me too. It took about 30-40 minutes to kick in and eventually the burning
sensation started slowly and continued to increase steadily and painfully. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVyV-aeUoRZNvXpS1-luPE6v4pkQ8Lr9mX4gCN5yDHv4z9K8AOKEBQSZ56zsMww50-CmGmRGmzSfMpZ_iTPgj3wRe_q5_lrJoJ13PPOovgD3zXgDzfHf7RLsaJ8lBdvepByA0TgY3P3Sfk/s1600/heart-on-fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVyV-aeUoRZNvXpS1-luPE6v4pkQ8Lr9mX4gCN5yDHv4z9K8AOKEBQSZ56zsMww50-CmGmRGmzSfMpZ_iTPgj3wRe_q5_lrJoJ13PPOovgD3zXgDzfHf7RLsaJ8lBdvepByA0TgY3P3Sfk/s200/heart-on-fire.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For
those who have never gotten this horrible treatment, I will tell you that it
feels like there is a match under my bottom, like I am sitting on red hot coals. My bottom was on fire, just as my heart and his heart was from my actions. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It finally got to the point where I was texting him like crazy telling him of the flaming heat and eventually calling him crying and pleading for him to
let me wash it off. The burning was so intense. He
listened to my cries but still would not let me get off the chair for about 45
minutes. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When he finally said I could get up and wash it off, I ran and got the
milk. The only thing on my mind was washing this cream off my smoldering bottom.
</span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Water will soothe but it doesn't take it off and only lasts a few seconds. T</span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he only way we have found that works is taking a glass of milk and a rag and
soaking the rag over and over again in the milk and rubbing and washing your
bottom with it. The relief is instant but it still takes a lot to wash it
all off. At first I thought I had gotten it all off because it felt so good,
but about 15 minutes later it started burning again, not as bad but still. After more
milk, my bottom was finally back to almost normal. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still felt it a little but
not enough to be unbearable, just enough to serve as a reminder the rest of the
day. I am here to say that I will do everything in my power to try to avoid this type of punishment in the future. However, I am thankful that he was able to take care of it and
loves me enough to not put it off until we could get to it. I am sorry Sir,
thank you and I love you. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-57166489924293518542012-05-15T06:24:00.001-07:002012-05-15T07:06:36.509-07:00Time Crunch<span style="clear: left; color: #20124d; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XXQOkGsI9Go-zVWHRj0LTcZTkRM20sO0mBZ8Y-P6AZzOhmBjtzY-ptPMlB3e5D-0CA8nUPRAMt2CH6vYlPjocILbPyqW0bUP3dPAuapY3OxLJIbHZS0d1en9p2TB3qAfWWIJ_r6CB3kv/s1600/6a00d8341bf92253ef00e54f24cdc08834-800wi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XXQOkGsI9Go-zVWHRj0LTcZTkRM20sO0mBZ8Y-P6AZzOhmBjtzY-ptPMlB3e5D-0CA8nUPRAMt2CH6vYlPjocILbPyqW0bUP3dPAuapY3OxLJIbHZS0d1en9p2TB3qAfWWIJ_r6CB3kv/s200/6a00d8341bf92253ef00e54f24cdc08834-800wi.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are some things that cas needs corrections for occasionally and it is time sensitive so we need to take care of it right away
however, with our busy lives, our time apart and deadlines to meet sometimes we
need to take care of her attitude or behavior another way. Today is such a day. I told her to go to the
store and get some Capsaicin Cream and have it ready for this afternoon. She is
going to get a quick over my knee hand spanking then (with rubber gloves) I am
applying a little pea size drop of this wicked cream on each cheek of her bottom. In a half
hour she will be squirming and begging for me to let her wash it off. Depending
on how I feel it will be a while before I tell her to get a cup of milk and
wash her bottom. (That is the only way to stop it we have found). This punishment is used
sparingly because of its intensity, but today with all my meetings and her busy
schedule it’s the only way we can get this done. Sorry baby.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfcZj0WP61wJdM89rBwRTDXThjZmkklBRgTHIXN1EiZGtHmlnCLWE8rkEf3OchFHomrBBrlDyUpM8qgyH7qf6tC15_fFWDiIuFKV7Jlf9o0cLG0rG_xPpKQNkpMx90C3LGEvnIT6JNXFL/s1600/capsaicin-400x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #20124d;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfcZj0WP61wJdM89rBwRTDXThjZmkklBRgTHIXN1EiZGtHmlnCLWE8rkEf3OchFHomrBBrlDyUpM8qgyH7qf6tC15_fFWDiIuFKV7Jlf9o0cLG0rG_xPpKQNkpMx90C3LGEvnIT6JNXFL/s200/capsaicin-400x400.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-61327613831190701242012-04-28T18:48:00.002-07:002012-04-29T00:49:29.745-07:00inside the mind of cas...<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Sorry for the length...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Chief owns me. He doesn’t like
the idea of me being owned, he refers to it as I belong to Him, but in all
reality, He owns me. He is not a tyrant, but I am expected to please him and
obey. He may listen and always bears in mind my needs and safety, but he still
demands my submission and obedience.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But don’t think that just because he requires me to obey does
not mean our relationship is a one way street. If I needed Chief to do
something, he would do it. He wants to please me as well and to make me feel
cherished.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But just as a quartermaster mans the wheel of the ship, so does
he have consent to direct our relationship. I may say, “Sir, let’s check that
over there”, and because Chief loves me, he would steer the ship that
direction, but he still controls the rudder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">If I asked Chief to do something and he said “no” it would be
because he had a reason for not doing it, even if it was something he simply
didn’t want to do, I can’t imagine he would ever say “no” with the deliberate
intention of hurting me. However, sometimes he doesn’t give me a reason for his
response; he just says “no”.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">He gets to do that, because he
is in charge. He gets to make the decisions. If I don’t like it, I will tell
him and he will listen. Sometimes he is swayed by me, but usually he is not. He
has already taken my needs/wants/desires into account. But, even when he says
“no” and I calmly explain my complaint, he remembers and listens to what I
asked for. Sometimes he will give me something else later, something that
satisfies my need but not necessarily in the way I had expected.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Now when he says “no” and I rebel against it or fly off the
handle, he still listens but it doesn’t usually end well… usually it ends with
me sniffling and rubbing my burning bottom and him still not caving.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But the funny thing is, if he
doesn’t say “no” often enough, I start to get restless. It is those times when
I might start asking for things that I know Chief will say “no” to, just
for the comfort of hearing “no” and feeling protected and dominated, the
comfort of having limits. Which brings me back to when I said he would never
say “no” to deliberately hurt me; that is not entirely true because
deliberately hurting is what punishment is? When he punishes me, he inflicts
pain…sometimes physical, but always emotional.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">And sometimes saying “no” is the most effective form of
punishment, and or limit setting. It is not always about the spanking, but more
often than not, it’s about the force of personality, the commanding presence,
the stern look, the lecture… it’s about the power of words and sometimes that
is saying “no”.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But that is what works for us.
It is driven by my needs for limit setting, feeling strength, protection,
romance… and my need for surrender. I need to hear “no” (whether it be
arbitrary, decisive, or strong) in the same way I need his dominance in
general. I crave it. With is I feel warm, loved, and submissive. Without, I
feel lost, insecure and grumpy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I need Chief to be in control, NEED it, not want, although I do
want it as well. But just as I need to hear the word “no” and to be dominated,
I also NEED to obey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">To me, obedience is not only a matter of respect for Chief and
our relationship; it gives me a greater sense of security knowing that he is in
charge of me. We consult each other on several things and discuss matters
openly, but he is the Dom and I am the sub. He might consent to my desires and
he might depend on my advice and my knowledge of things, but once he makes a
final decision after we talked, than that is the way it is going to be, and I
am expected to obey it.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">By being obedient, I open
myself to intimacy, trusting that he will do what is necessary for me and us. I
don’t really submit to Chief out of fear; that is not the primary motivating
factor for my obedience. It is true that the threat of a spanking or
punishments always exist if I disobey, and the certainty of those consequences
may motivate me, but my decision to obey is really a matter of respect and trust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">My submission to Chief stems from me knowing him so well and
loving him so much, that I WANT to submit. I trust him not to abuse the
authority I gave to him. It also fulfills my desire I have to be submissive to
him and it would not be pure or as meaningful if it were something that was
forced or came purely from obligation and/or duty to him.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Some people might think that if
I am obedient to Chief, I lose my independence. It may be true that I lose some
freedom of action, but doesn’t any relationship require the same? Neither is
Chief free to do as he wishes. A relationship requires a sense of mutual
obligation. However, if he requires me to behave or act in a certain way; I do
so because I WANT to and because he has proven his commitment to me. By agreeing
to obey him, I surrender to the discipline of our relationship. For me, it is
not so much a sacrifice, as it is a way to connect to him in a deep and
meaningful way and it is a way to show my love and respect for him.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I don’t understand how our relationship
could work if it were based on equality. What does it mean for a man to be
dominant if the submissive gets to pick and choose whether she submits to the
Dom’s decisions? I am the first to tell you that it would weaken Chief’s
authority and destroy the dynamic we have together. I have accepted my collar
and in turn accepted Chief as my Dom. We have an understanding of “dominant”
and “submissive” as equitable and complementary, not “superior” and “inferior”,
and an acceptance of his right to sanction behavior that is harmful to the
relationship or myself. This doesn’t mean mindless obedience either. He does
not demand me to do something that is unethical or against my conscience.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">And the fact that I obey him
does not mean Chief isn’t held accountable as well. I will tell him when he has
done something that I believe inappropriate and he wants me to tell him when I
think he is screwing up. This is not contradictory; it is just part of a
relationship. Feedback is important for growth. I can tell him things because I
know he cares about me and values my opinion. I know he will take my feelings
into account. And even though I bring this to his attention, it does not
undermine his dominance or authority over me.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">He is so confident in his role
within our relationship, he is able to humbly accept my advice and yes, even my
expression of disappointment in his actions. I would argue that any man who
could not admit his failure and humble himself among his followers cannot be
trusted and is not worthy of being a leader in the first place.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I cannot begin to express how
grateful I am to have a Dom who loves me as much as Chief does; who isn’t
afraid to tell me “NO”; who isn’t afraid to put his foot down and demand
obedience; but at the same time, who isn’t afraid to admit when he is in the
wrong and made a mistake. He is a gem, and I am rich. He might own me, but in
turn he is also mine and I am eternally thankful. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-75378946697596177042012-04-25T13:26:00.006-07:002012-04-25T13:38:34.192-07:00A lecture was more than enough<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AcUADriP9aS0N74opDoZESWFvidONjl4kHag9T08lGzqebotB9joGtoNIkx_9eDlX3f0VODjI3UYb8oCUaszACTcfzvnun64K0xQie66iswRct6JKK8WnWeGJiuvJLWBTBAuErtul0qv/s1600/power+of+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AcUADriP9aS0N74opDoZESWFvidONjl4kHag9T08lGzqebotB9joGtoNIkx_9eDlX3f0VODjI3UYb8oCUaszACTcfzvnun64K0xQie66iswRct6JKK8WnWeGJiuvJLWBTBAuErtul0qv/s320/power+of+words.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The power of words will impact more than any form or
physical force and this has been known from the beginning of time. Think of the
impact of “Fore score and seven years ago” or “I have a dream” or even “Ask not
what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country”. Those
words were surrounded by a lot of violence and physical force, but what has stood the test of time were the words that
were spoken not so much the actions that people did.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now cas woke up on the wrong
side of the bed and foul mood and temper were more than I could handle. I will
not go into details but when I walked out to cool my brain, I think that’s when
she realized that she had messed up. She went for a walk too to reflect the
morning’s interaction between us, sat and wrote this incredible poem that not
only she posted but also read to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I got home there was a
note to check the blog and I listened to it while reading along, and although I
really liked it, I was still livid. She came home meek and quiet and when I saw
her that is when I laid into her. The words that came rolling off my tongue
were a compilation of feelings and emotions that had been bottled up for some
time. The words were sharp as arrows and as I said each sentence I could see
the hurt in her eyes grow to the breaking point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It started with a single tear
running from the inside of her eye down her cheek and grew until she was a
blubbering, sniffling mess. She dropped to her knees and begged forgiveness and
at that point I could see that she was completely broken, it was time to stop
the lecture, the lecture that hurt her very soul, and reduced her to a point of
surrender.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I reached down at that point
pulled her to her feet, hugged her and tried to console her. This did not work
at first and she didn’t stop blubbering to the point my shirt was soaked as she
pressed her face against it. Finally after quite a bit of time she started to
wind down (I think she ran out of tears) she sniffed a bit and said sorry one
last time. I told her, “it’s ok baby, it’s ok” I realized then that my words
were more than enough to handle this situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-24575625897638515632012-04-22T11:17:00.001-07:002012-04-24T15:16:43.783-07:00i'm sorry Sir... (a poem by me)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz4zQnsE2NFhQd9x0lpzbz5r58Z1QptpMSXNd1YypQOKPk-85r1C1kLvZBQF7HpJ3m4_EyJ5IMKpk49UIC2Sw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">I
know I've let you down Sir, </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Caused
more pain than you let show;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can
sit and say I'm sorry,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it’s
not enough I know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You deserve
much more<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Than what I put you through;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But
if you give me one more chance<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I swear
I’ll make it up to you..</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is nothing I can say that will
erase the hurt I gave you;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I only ask for your forgiveness and faith
in me to start anew. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that you need more from me,
and time and again I always fail;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And maybe I'm not right for you, but I'm begging, please don’t bail. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that there are times where I act
so selfishly;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t treat you like I need to and
my views are all I see.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But that is not what I desire and surely
not what you deserve;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You give me more than I can ask for and
now its time for me to serve. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to give you pleasure and to shower you with love;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then moments like this morning come,
times I'm not proud of.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do not know what comes over me or
what goes through my mind;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its like my ears can hear again, but
my eyes go blind.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lose focus on the gift God gave
me, the gift I don’t deserve;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The gift I need to love and cherish,
the gift I should preserve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here is my new promise, my
pledge, my word, my vow;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To honor, obey, respect and serve
this gift that I have now.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you wonder who or what this gift is, by now
it should be clear;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Look no further from yourself my Sir,
for it is you that I hold dear. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love you so much and I'm really sorry Sir, please forgive me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-69062057663886180422012-04-17T22:01:00.005-07:002012-04-18T03:59:34.632-07:00Credit = Money you don’t have<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not going to get into cas’ financial situation, all I will say is that she doesn’t have a lot of spending cash. She is on a tight budget. So thirty-six bucks may not be much for some but like a lot of people who go paycheck to paycheck, that money could fill a gas tank or food toward the end of the month. I also have a philosophy that debt = slavery. I think that people should not go into debt for any reason except a house and your first car. (If you want I can explain my philosphy on living debt free, I have taught it to a lot of people and have changed lives. Just shoot me an email at <a href="mailto:qmc2112@gmail.com">qmc2112@gmail.com</a>) So a while back cas and I talked (and yes we BOTH talked). I decided that she would not use the card without my permission. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then comes the dreaded text, “Chief, please check our blog out.” I check it and let me just say, I was furious. For those who checked it out right when it got posted saw what she spent the money on. I had her change it because it wasn’t anyone’s business. But I can say it was absolutely worthless. I got her on the phone and told her that I was going to beat her butt.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday, I made the trip to her house and told her on my way to have the spray bottle and bath brush ready. It started with an intense lecture that included the three areas I thought she messed up with. One: She didn’t have the money to spend on such a wasted item. Two: She didn’t ask me to use the card, because in her words, “You would say no!” which to me was defiant. And three: She kept it from me for days which in my book, “keeping the truth from me” is the same thing as “lying to me”. The lectured ended with her having to add $36 dollars to next month’s payment to her credit card. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSjAbL7Rw4-QqY371hCP9hBF52l4pv8I1itJ81Rl6EF4dK_SV19i9MGHs5HrsiyO6az9qZ76VBUvTOMG0rRcxX66Qm4kHB44V-PZrQE3DtG9M6AkBnABY0hkkcSGOf5IOx4uWLUzgxxzX/s1600/How+to+get+her+bottom+red+(1).gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSjAbL7Rw4-QqY371hCP9hBF52l4pv8I1itJ81Rl6EF4dK_SV19i9MGHs5HrsiyO6az9qZ76VBUvTOMG0rRcxX66Qm4kHB44V-PZrQE3DtG9M6AkBnABY0hkkcSGOf5IOx4uWLUzgxxzX/s200/How+to+get+her+bottom+red+(1).gif" width="160" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before and After</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I had her bend over the bed. I sprayed her bottom good and wet, and brought that brush down with a lot of force thirty six times on her bare bottom for the dollar amount and then some more for the defiance and lying. The sound was echoing off the walls and I ignored all her cries, pleas and begging. From the first smack her bottom showed signs of bright red circle and by the end it was already starting to bruise. I didn’t take pictures but she was blubbering pretty hard on the bed.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I comforted her and told her that it was over as I rubbed her back. She cleaned herself up and an hour after the spanking we had lunch and every time she winced as she sat all I could think of was she learned her lesson and she truly understands that she doesn’t need to spend money she doesn’t have and to never lie to me again.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief[c]</span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-82093864004678701912012-04-14T05:16:00.004-07:002012-04-14T15:18:37.121-07:00Guilty Conscience ... :(<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I pride myself on being honest. It is a very rare thing that I withhold the truth, especially from Chief. However, on occasion it does happen. And this is one of them, well kind of. I have not lied directly, but I have been keeping a secret the last few days that is eating me up inside.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I have written before, I had been struggling with my submission the last month or so and just last week, we had a break thru and I was able to reconnect with it. That being said I know I am not perfect and I have gotten in trouble since, which will be dealt with next week. But I also made another mistake I am not proud of and since we have reunited in the D/s aspect of our relationship, it pains me even more to bring such disappointment to him. Also this week, we have been away from each other and had limited contact, something which is very hard for me to endure and I have been missing him dearly. So because of all that I have been holding it in, and even now I still cannot bring myself to tell him directly and so I am going to use this blog as my messenger…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcSBMEpEucL8gVznkzITrpiTdyemMKnixpQLhcWacgAfeAaq7E163QU_K0KdjiROtsjyQKDWsKLN_hluDiBXY6xPxzJ2HQGH3gp-FXFgJjt4eDGQiPQWvpmKv1RAQpGT5dXZvB4FyirN8X/s1600/credit-card-big1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcSBMEpEucL8gVznkzITrpiTdyemMKnixpQLhcWacgAfeAaq7E163QU_K0KdjiROtsjyQKDWsKLN_hluDiBXY6xPxzJ2HQGH3gp-FXFgJjt4eDGQiPQWvpmKv1RAQpGT5dXZvB4FyirN8X/s200/credit-card-big1.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have this credit card, a credit card that I am not supposed to use except for emergency situations. He has made it VERY clear that it only be used for that purpose and especially never for something that I only want but do not need. I know this; I know this well and yet a couple days ago, I totally went against that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, I have been wanting to buy this specific thing for a long time now but knew that I didn’t have the money and that Chief would so not approve me using my credit card on something so unnecessary and foolish. I knew he would say “no” but I chose to do it anyways, without asking. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So without his knowledge, I spent the 34.99 I wasn't allowed to spend and bought it. I know what you might be saying…“that really isn’t a lot of money, it could have been a lot more, or that is not too bad”. But the thing is, it doesn’t really matter how much it was, it is the fact that I chose to do this on my own, not only did I not ask, I also knew full well that the answer would have been “NO”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think that somewhere in my pretty but not so smart brain of mine, I thought that if I didn’t ask, that if he didn’t actually tell me no flat out for this particular purchase, that it would somehow make it justified. It doesn’t and I knew it then and I still know it now. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Granted, the purchase is great and all and I enjoy it, but the fact still remains that I not only disobeyed Chief, but I did so deliberately and defiantly, knowing he would not have approved it and knowing I was not to use the card unless it was either an emergency or it was cleared thru him. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52Mq3Xea0QBDaKYNV2JdHY4mHg8kqShD5fubx2fK-cDcYuCN09kAokkwCXL39O5-8456ihiNceSeFw3F1ZYuzy6QTrlP87smodcRdCplsEQWI9PQyjjhpzl7UUPW3UFoCjI-ZKbh0ZN_W/s1600/GotGuilt-300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52Mq3Xea0QBDaKYNV2JdHY4mHg8kqShD5fubx2fK-cDcYuCN09kAokkwCXL39O5-8456ihiNceSeFw3F1ZYuzy6QTrlP87smodcRdCplsEQWI9PQyjjhpzl7UUPW3UFoCjI-ZKbh0ZN_W/s200/GotGuilt-300x300.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The guilt has been killing me for days and I can’t take it anymore. I am sorry Sir, I never should have used the card, and especially over something I didn’t need at all. And on top of that, I should have told you the minute I used it, instead of waiting several days to come clean. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know there will be consequences, for both things, and I am fully prepared to take them without begging or fighting. I am repentant before you, sincerely apologizing and humbly kneeling with my head hung low. Forgive me Sir, please forgive me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-10619216736342441642012-04-13T08:01:00.004-07:002012-04-14T05:24:31.853-07:00Feedback is Essential for Improvement<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feedback is important, and usually positive feedback (although is nice) does not help with growth at all. I find that constructive feedback is much more useful. Whenever I read reviews of products, I get more out of the negative comments because they address issues, where the positive comments usually are just singing praises. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The key to receiving constructive feedback is not to let emotions play a apart in the listening process. Emotions will blind the person to what is actually being said. Having an open mind is also essential.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So cas yesterday was really feeling alone (me being in the Dallas area and busy and her being 4 hour drive away) and really needed attention. I had told her about a couple of punishment she is getting Monday and Wednesday, for behavior I will let her tell you about. And she broke down in tears more than I have seen in quite some time. After trying to console her and having zero success I was at my wits end. I texted her to give me some feedback with the following text: </span><b style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Fill in the blank with action words, cas loves Chief because ________”</b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> This text was for her. This text was for her to refocus on what she loves about me. After I got her list I texted her </span><b style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Chief could improve in the following areas: ____________ (you need to be 100% honest)”</b><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> This was for my feedback. I had promised her in my vow to her “I vow to know you and to study you and dwell within you according to that knowledge.” Well this was my way to study her and find out what she needed. I had my list of things I needed to improve but I needed to know what was on her list for me to improve. Her list over lapped my list however, there was things that were not on my list at all. So I took my mental list added hers and moved all of hers items to the top of my list.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_2tH4wI9uiuradPzElg0uwqp3F2bFt812X-Ll1PTl0rERjqsi6dHvthFiSKKfzGT_R0jxGp6hkdA-DYotUQCPlfTX98g6QJFalBxKLiQa4BQSR7TqSef8CsA05NH7S9ws5T8gqd1j_D3/s1600/survey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #20124d;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_2tH4wI9uiuradPzElg0uwqp3F2bFt812X-Ll1PTl0rERjqsi6dHvthFiSKKfzGT_R0jxGp6hkdA-DYotUQCPlfTX98g6QJFalBxKLiQa4BQSR7TqSef8CsA05NH7S9ws5T8gqd1j_D3/s200/survey.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #20124d;">cas's grade is Excellent!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After that was done, she turned my experiment on to me and asked me the same question of <b>“Chief loves cas because _______________”</b> and I was honest when I told why I loved her. Which I think made her feel good because it was a list of reasons I loved her and that it had nothing to do with her behavior. Then after some hesitation she texted me<b> “cas needs to improve in the following areas”</b>. She jokingly said, that the list was going to be long. And then she received the following text, “************, ********** and *********” That is all that I see she needs to improve. (BTW that's between her and I) I can tell you that she has an excellent score and doesn't need to improve much.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]</span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-56008742029775025782012-04-08T03:47:00.002-07:002012-04-08T08:51:45.491-07:00Resurrected and Redeemed, i am yours....<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today is Easter and the celebration of our Savior’s resurrection. Through this miracle and total act of selfless love for us, Jesus conquered death and made it possible for us to truly live and be forgiven so that we may have eternal life in Heaven. He opened the door for us to find redemption.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 177.0pt;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlWoUrW5fg8OX-lpc-0w84GYGLGDJiGRkvGpV0vOeTgHQIIKUkqjPTk1fxm_IiUw2kdeA91cQa0px9SZ79_0nuPuHzOOJXntlwhCWG_mvEm7lgWVSW5_b_aX224fHp-E_qh-fGG2fryup/s1600/cross+new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlWoUrW5fg8OX-lpc-0w84GYGLGDJiGRkvGpV0vOeTgHQIIKUkqjPTk1fxm_IiUw2kdeA91cQa0px9SZ79_0nuPuHzOOJXntlwhCWG_mvEm7lgWVSW5_b_aX224fHp-E_qh-fGG2fryup/s320/cross+new.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 13.5pt;">I am not comparing Chief to Jesus as being perfect; however, I am comparing him in that I think of Chief as like my earthly savior, offering me salvation from this downward evil path I so often turn to. Just as Christ has given us redemption on the cross, Chief has given me redemption in my collar. Now the cross itself is not the thing that provides salvation and eternal life (that is Jesus’ love and sacrifice), the cross is just the symbol we use to represent that gift Christ gave us; the same goes for the collar I wear, it's not the object that provides security, guidance, love and dominance, it is just the symbol to represent that gift Chief gives to me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So on this day that I praise and thank Jesus for his redeeming love and most precious gift he can ever give to us, I would also like to use this day to thank Chief for his unconditional love and the best gift he could ever give to me, by choosing me, guiding me, and allowing me to be released from the restricting tomb I put myself in and rise up and be free to offer him the submission I so need to give. Just as I am humbled toward God and go to him on bended knees, I too go to Chief, humbled and on bended knees… <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I kneel at your feet with my head down and eyes on the floor. You reach down, cup my chin and lift my face to meet yours and as our eyes lock, you penetrate into my soul. You see my submission, my respect and my love for you and I see your dominance, strength, and love for me in return. You stroke my face and I shiver from your touch, yearning for more.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-T4VhH23eT15GT-6ibunqamOlzTsbLiNNxuUIO8ms7OKyLnz-YM_6OliNRGQzYGuzeIyWut2syF5dWylbwp4qOWk6SPvpVFZY53aZRb0DW-hdTbKYik-tZZsDNqB_5se0zzB4N-UFiTIO/s1600/stock-illustration-386055-silhouette-sketch-of-a-kneeling-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-T4VhH23eT15GT-6ibunqamOlzTsbLiNNxuUIO8ms7OKyLnz-YM_6OliNRGQzYGuzeIyWut2syF5dWylbwp4qOWk6SPvpVFZY53aZRb0DW-hdTbKYik-tZZsDNqB_5se0zzB4N-UFiTIO/s320/stock-illustration-386055-silhouette-sketch-of-a-kneeling-woman.jpg" width="163" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you collared me, I knew what you wanted. You wanted me, the real me, not the one I too often try to hide behind. You wanted me to be that submissive, yet stubborn and sassy cas you grew to love. You wanted me to never lose my spunk and always be true to myself and in doing so I would be true to you. You didn’t want a doormat; you wanted the mustang in me, my free spirit. You didn’t demand my respect and trust; you earned it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just as you knew what you wanted, I knew what I wanted, or should I say needed. I needed a strong and confident man who would accept my gift of submission completely. I needed a Christian man who would seek out God’s wisdom in guiding me and leading me on my journey. I needed a man who would tread the waters carefully when dealing with my heart, emotions, and insecurities. I needed a man who would accept my faults and patiently, lovingly and firmly deal with my stubborn outbursts and multiple failures. I needed a man that would watch me and learn how I think and what I need and then use that knowledge to help me grow and be who I was meant to be. I needed a man who would commandeer my heart, challenge my mind and dominate my body and soul. I found that man….in you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are responsible for me and you don’t take that job lightly. You don’t break me down and criticize my every flaw, but you loving correct and encourage me, lifting me up so that I may shine. Like a mechanic, you put so much time and energy in keeping me well oiled, maintained and controlled so I run smoothly and am where I need to be. I occasionally break down, but you have the tools and the ability to repair me and get me back on the road again, the right road. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I find comfort knowing that I am yours to do what you want with, I might be nervous and outwardly struggle with that but deep down I crave it and it brings me joy and security; knowing that you would never truly hurt me, never ask more than what I could give, never demand more than what I could be. You know me more than I know myself, you see in me much more than I could ever fathom, and you know all my weaknesses and my horrors from my past, but accept me anyway and love me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every thought I hold, every word I speak, every action I make and everything I am belongs to you and is yours to claim and/or control. I truly desire nothing more than to serve you and make you proud, and although my actions do not always prove that, my entire soul longs to please you and give you the respect you deserve. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMIUfcg3O0oFITUrAKpSgBZE1EB9DFpqXpgJWh7SsLs1U3IDBUDzUqmrkq4J47x0xE8YU2TACmvHFOC4kSxsiz3RgIE4Ce_VfWUNBItrphPpjdr6ldnMROezcfR9brX-OBMxa5jYXx4Gs/s1600/a007760ca3f7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMIUfcg3O0oFITUrAKpSgBZE1EB9DFpqXpgJWh7SsLs1U3IDBUDzUqmrkq4J47x0xE8YU2TACmvHFOC4kSxsiz3RgIE4Ce_VfWUNBItrphPpjdr6ldnMROezcfR9brX-OBMxa5jYXx4Gs/s200/a007760ca3f7.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I belong to you because on that day when you offered me your collar, I accepted it and in turn gave you permission to take me as your own. A permission I did not give lightly and have no intention of taking back. You do not dangle your power over my head, you do not beat me into submission, and you do not manipulate me into staying. I am free to go if I want, but I stay out of my own free will. It is my gift to you. It is my acceptance of your terms. It is my complete surrender.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am yours and I am content.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-85092259489642662322012-04-06T16:36:00.003-07:002012-04-06T17:34:23.263-07:00running on empty + running my mouth = running into trouble<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t know what got into me this morning, but I was in a mood to say the least. We had a great evening last night and I slept pretty good, not enough but good. Nevertheless, I still woke up with an attitude. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have this horrible habit when I don’t get enough sleep of rubbing my eyes and many times they get swollen, red and infected. Chief HATES this and gets on my case and usually my bottom about it all the time. Well, today was no different in that respect, except this time, add my sassy attitude and obviously it didn’t turn out so well. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I grumbled, pouted and just refused to listen to him. He snapped at me, telling me to either stop or go get a wet rag and instead of listening, while he wasn’t looking I continued to defiantly rub. He caught me off guard coming out of the bathroom and quickly turned me around giving me several HARD swats, he will say a few, but I am telling you it was more than a few, like at least 10 or more. Not enough to make me cry, but definitely enough to sting pretty good. I stopped rubbing but now was running a little late because I was moving slowly. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2gp0ByF4wa8tqKCBt7y1Oq2U15zsgRkK-hKEHnZDI6k90bTpei3ruPeKxq8u8uuAE4Bep_7lEOqivvzb9hI_tHXUy-rCPalfhWPwQd2ET-WbHyI0u9oupppG13INrx2BHYPP1BR1UCxuL/s1600/empty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2gp0ByF4wa8tqKCBt7y1Oq2U15zsgRkK-hKEHnZDI6k90bTpei3ruPeKxq8u8uuAE4Bep_7lEOqivvzb9hI_tHXUy-rCPalfhWPwQd2ET-WbHyI0u9oupppG13INrx2BHYPP1BR1UCxuL/s200/empty.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the way to the zoo, I was still a bit frazzled from the morning and I missed my exit. I started to get riled up over it because I was also running low on gas. After freaking out to Chief about it, I realized that I just accidently confessed to letting it get that low. He has a rule that I am not allowed to let my tank get lower than a quarter full, which is a good rule and I even remembered seeing it low a few days ago, but just didn’t feel like filling it then and figured I would on the way to the zoo. H</span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">owever, I forgot and since i was running a little later, and because I missed my exit, I had to detour so I didn’t have time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While snapping at Chief, he warned me that I was in trouble already and to stop with the attitude and instead of saying “yes sir”, I actually snapped back “I don’t care”. I don’t normally say that but like I said, I was in a mood. He informed me that I would “care” when I got home and at this I started to feel a little repentant and quiet. I asked what I was getting but he wouldn’t tell me, he just said that he would put it on the blog. I was so not happy about this, but I let it go. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He texted a little later at the zoo telling me the blog was updated. I was working in the python house so I had the time to check it and boy was I shocked. I hate the bath brush but I sort of expected it, but Icy Hot is like the worst for me and he knows it. I started pleading and begging and apologizing over text with him, but of course, it made no use, he was done with my sass and my “I don’t care” attitude. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I resigned myself to my fate. He told me that the spanking was not going to be that long but that the Icy Hot would make up for it. I actually begged for him to just spank me longer if he didn’t use that wicked lotion. He wasn’t having it though. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the way home, I knew I had to stop and get gas, but the minute I was done with work, I started to get these horrible cramps. Now I am not going to get all female talk on you, but I will say that I am pretty irregular so I am never totally sure when it will come. With that being said, getting the cramps meant that it had started and as luck would have it, I am wearing brand new white panties and khaki pants. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If that wasn’t enough, I still had the problem of finding a gas station before I was stranded on the side of the road. Why is it that when you don’t need gas, they are gas stations everywhere but when your car is running on fumes, you can drive for over 10-15 minutes and not see one? Needless to say, I started to get all flustered and sassy again. I wasn’t the only one running on fumes; Chief was losing his patience trying to get me to calm down. He warned me a few times to cool it but do I? Nope. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally, he snaps “Forget the short spanking missy, I am going to beat that butt when you get home, and still give you the Icy Hot so are you sure you want to keep this up”. That shut me up pretty quick, didn’t calm me down though as now I was worried about going home. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-J4NQHBtRBMIolMlQE9fsxRFSsyv1V7u7oCBmOk4ocHqrcvi8RprPg3vg0KPQ7wb0rdSs68-kJAq6L0hbqvxPLSrF2QKlFCNe99ILfO_DgIE3FmZ2kgriq0pa9VzmuJIJrfk6M5-QU73e/s1600/bathtub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-J4NQHBtRBMIolMlQE9fsxRFSsyv1V7u7oCBmOk4ocHqrcvi8RprPg3vg0KPQ7wb0rdSs68-kJAq6L0hbqvxPLSrF2QKlFCNe99ILfO_DgIE3FmZ2kgriq0pa9VzmuJIJrfk6M5-QU73e/s200/bathtub.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get to the house, he hands me my meds to take for my aching cramps and tells me to get in the bathtub to soak for a bit first. Yes, he is worried about my pain and well being in that gesture; however he also has an ulterior motive here. It will help relieve my cramps alright, but it will also get my bottom all tender, hot and wet for him; a perfect primer for the spanking I have coming… evil man I tell you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He finally makes me get out; I begrudgingly obey but look at him with pouty lips. Not letting me dry off my bottom, and dressed in nothing but a shirt and collar, I am quickly tossed over his knee for a wet bare bottom paddling with the bath brush. He started with a few school paddle type swats then he just tore into me back and forth for what seemed like forever. Just as he said, it was A LOT longer than he was planning on and I was crying by the end. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hoped we were finished and maybe there was a slight chance he forgot about the second part… but of course, I was wrong. As I started to get up, he pushed me back down, pinning me as he applied a gracious amount of Icy Hot to my already throbbing bottom. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those who have never had the pleasure of experiencing Icy Hot, it starts out rather nice and soothing, getting your hopes up. But they soon get shattered as the comforting disappears and this intense burning replaces it. Because it was a pretty intense paddling, the Icy Hot hurt even more. I was squirming, sobbing, apologizing, and pleading to wash it off, while he held me over his knee and forced me to endure this scorching fire. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_kRbTIMUNYkxflbKsUNQ00Os2yrGM8myTwQzVX0cjzZNZGweCW_UFUVKFYrA6I-cDyWJDBBly6bfsPsuKWjNntP9I4gi3GXdL8Ao8CxV9xRNYS07VUz-ObvTZlimsbj7zPELBnZOwoJ5h/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_kRbTIMUNYkxflbKsUNQ00Os2yrGM8myTwQzVX0cjzZNZGweCW_UFUVKFYrA6I-cDyWJDBBly6bfsPsuKWjNntP9I4gi3GXdL8Ao8CxV9xRNYS07VUz-ObvTZlimsbj7zPELBnZOwoJ5h/s200/1.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally, after I was reduced to a blubbering mess and promised to never again let my gas tank get below 1/4; he let me up and told me I could go wash it off. It doesn’t completely come off by the way, but at least it offers some much needed relief. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have once again learned my lesson; I am snapped back from my little sassy mood this morning and I will not let my tank get that low again. I am a repentant and humble sub, curled up in my strong and wonderful Dom’s arms. Finding out that PMS was partly to blame for this actually comforted me a little, in that I was really trying to listen and behave better since Wednesday, but even so, it doesn’t excuse my behavior and I am very thankful I have a man who loves and cares enough about me to bring me back to where I should be when they happen. All is forgiven, all is forgotten and all is well… </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C]</span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-65541353200883761362012-04-06T07:45:00.004-07:002012-04-06T16:42:22.624-07:00Running on Empty<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFz8ywzdEd46ImDnbffyxXvz0LkzjoCrrwQrQRdZigfrQtrKGq5qYgz1RtyVrJzv9RTRGvpoyBIVt4VS-QGC754ys0DM74dUGWZ2g3NQjZXA4nUpJ22vGkn_dTY2S4F09EypWt55nyU2IB/s1600/coffee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFz8ywzdEd46ImDnbffyxXvz0LkzjoCrrwQrQRdZigfrQtrKGq5qYgz1RtyVrJzv9RTRGvpoyBIVt4VS-QGC754ys0DM74dUGWZ2g3NQjZXA4nUpJ22vGkn_dTY2S4F09EypWt55nyU2IB/s200/coffee.jpg" width="129" /></a><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So cas helped me last night with my signing homework and we stayed up a little late. Cas woke up a little bit earlier than I did and when I woke with the smell of coffee (which I enjoy) and cas’ smile. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> When cas doesn’t get enough sleep she has a problem with her eyes and she rubs them. My rule is that cas is not allowed to rub her eyes when they are irritated. The more she rubs the more her eyes get irritated and the vicious cycle starts. She knows this. So I look over and she is rubbing her eyes and so I take a sip of my coffee and tell her to stop rubbing. She gets a little grumpy and stomps her foot (this is her visual way of saying “Fine!”) I raise an eyebrow and she snaps back into her place. I tell her if she needs to rub to get a wash cloth with cool water and dab her eyes. She just huffs and continues to get around. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I come out of the bathroom and there cas is rubbing her eyes again. She sees me and fear shoots through her eyes. I spin her around and give her a few hard swats, and after yelping she gets around with out an issue. She dresses in her zoo shirt and name tag and out the door about 2 minutes late. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I have Good Friday off so I just sip my coffee and catch up on the news. She calls me from the car and she apologizes for the morning. I sip my coffee and tell her that’s ok. She says that she forgot her glasses and I told her that she forgot them because she was running late and because she had to get a few swats. Then in the next breath she yells “damn it!” I ask her, “What’s wrong?” She said that she missed her exit. I tell she has plenty of time and not to worry. Well then she starts freaking out on me and says, "damn and I am going to run out of gas." I said, "What?!, cas how low is your tank allowed to get?", She realized that she just admitted that her tank was below a quarter tank, which I don't allow. I told her that she was in trouble and she didn’t care. I told her that she will care after she gets done with the zoo. That snapped her back and she became very respectful and in a quiet voice she asked what she was going to get. I told her that she will find out on the blog.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To cas: you are getting the bathbrush and then IcyHot. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]</span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-61849980634798858962012-04-05T08:28:00.001-07:002015-03-01T20:55:51.977-08:00Welcome home baby, welcome home.<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last month has been eating at me, and then the last two weeks have been really testing my will. Let me preface this article by saying that I am extremely grateful to have cas in my life, She truly gives me more than she realizes, but I will get to that later. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being a Dom isn’t easy. It is this delicate balance between love, guiding, discipline, and understanding. You want to guide them without breaking their spirit, and you want to break their stubbornness but keep their soul alive. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had made up my mind that I was going to snap cas back to where she <i>needs</i> to be and it was going to take more than a spanking to get her to come along side me and work together for her better good. I don’t use the word “NEEDS” lightly here. She needs to be submissive, although she fights it. She needs to be humble, it’s in her nature. She needs to follow my lead, even though she can be stubborn. She needs to be my sub. She truly needs these things, at times she doesn’t want it, but she needs it, it is in her soul. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then as a shock she came to me humbly with eyes cast down and mumbled something to me. I lifted her chin and looked in her eyes and asked her to repeat it. She in a very quiet voice said, “Sir, I am ashamed at the way I am treating you…. Would you please discipline me? I need to be back to where I was.” Inside I was blown away, and beaming with pride. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I go about discipline in one of two ways. I can either make up my mind on the spot and discipline her spontaneously or I think and pray about what I need to do and seek guidance in advance. Both have their place and needs however, this snap back was too important to rush into it. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me I believe that discipline requires all of the following qualities to be effective. Discipline (or punishment) needs to be perceived as discipline and not reward. Discipline needs to be applied at the level of the offense (not to much or to little). Disciplines needs to be uncomfortable (or painful) for her, that pain can be emotional, or physical. And most importantly it needs to be fair.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> After seeding guidance I came up with her punishment, now I had the choice to spring it on her (which sometimes I do) or let her know ahead of time. I told her ahead of time just so that she could mentally prepare. She was shocked that I was going to do what I was to her. I told her that her punishment was going to be in three parts. Part one was going to be an intense paddling in the diaper position. She absolutely hates the diaper position, but not as much as she hates the next part. Part two was going to be the insertion of a butt plug while she got a paddling, followed by sitting on the butt plug for 15 minutes. Then part three was praying together. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> She was humble the night before and kept telling me that she has snapped back and that she does not need the punishment. Well I know that was her nervousness and that if I did not follow through with what I told her that she would revert back to her old behavior in a matter of minutes. I just smiled, reminded her that she even asked for it (which proves that she needs it), patted her on her bottom and informed her that we were going through with this. She pouted and gave me the silent treatment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I am not going to go through the actually punishment, you know what we did. All I know is that the prayer together was very powerful and I felt a connection that we haven’t had felt in a long time.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S. I am putting this post up today and may I say that cas’ behavior is amazing. She is back to her old self and it warms my heart that she is soooo respectful and caring. I am so proud of her in so many ways and like I said at the beginning of this post she gives me more than she realizes. She gives me her submission, she gives me her respect, she meets my need to be dominant, she helps me in so many ways that I could fill pages with what she does for me. </span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To cas:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]</span></div>
Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-68088928120560917382012-04-03T13:29:00.001-07:002012-04-04T20:21:46.091-07:00shameful confession...<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a post I am not proud to share. Not that when I normally misbehave or act up, I am proud of those posts either, because I am not; but this issue specifically brings tremendous guilt and shame. I don’t even want to share it honestly, and Chief is not making me, but I feel it is necessary that I share not only the good times and the punishments that we go through, but also the internal struggles as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">The last several weeks, I have been extremely stressed in my personal life, several things continually popping up and adding on to the layer before it so my stress level just keeps rising. That alone is enough to usually push me to where I start acting out and being defiant and have a hard time finding my submission, however that also is the time where I need it the most.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">I wish that I could sit here and pass the last few weeks of my defiant and horrible behavior on the stress level alone, but I can’t. It is not the stress’ fault that I have been denying Chief the opportunity to truly dominate me. It is MY fault.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">In fact the last month has not even felt like a D/s relationship at all, but more of a battle of wills; and me being a very stubborn girl, I was putting up a pretty darn good fight. In fact, I was essentially winning, even though I have been over his knee several times, my mindset was not there. It might have gotten there for a brief time, but then shortly after, my funk would return and the next battle would begin.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;">Instead of being grateful, I would get frustrated, irritated and defensive. It was tearing us both down. Him more than me, but even I knew there was a problem; I just </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">didn't</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> know how to fix it or what it truly was.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">He has been trying to fix it though. He has been bending over backwards to help me and to be there as much as he can, whether it is being the shoulder to cry on, or the lap to be bent over, he has been there. And yet, I have been constantly pushing him away and denying my submission to him.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">Not really intentionally, but it was there, always the underlying reason of our struggles recently. And it goes beyond my normal bout of stubbornness and sassiness that gets me into trouble. No, this goes deeper than that. I just got into a mindset of not wanting to submit, not wanting to give up that control, especially when all around me it seemed my life was spiraling out of control, so I was holding on to the only thing I could, my submission to Chief.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">Unfortunately, that is so unfair to Him. He has been going above and beyond lately and instead of appreciating Him and all He is doing; I have been even more difficult, defiant and needy. I have been selfish and only focusing on my needs and my wants and what I feel like doing. I have forgotten what this collar that I wear is all about. I have forgotten my vows to him, my oath that I would give Him my submission, give him everything and that I long to please, serve and obey him.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">It has been all about me the last few weeks. My needs, my wants, my feelings, my wanting his dominance to fulfill my need for it, crying on his shoulder because I needed to, venting my frustration in whatever way I wanted because I felt I had the right to; and I could go on and on… I am utterly ashamed at my horrible, ungrateful and very un-submissive behavior the last weeks.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">The tension between us has been getting stronger and stronger. He has been trying to get in there and be there for me and give me his dominance and his love, but he also has been getting extremely frustrated because no matter what he has been doing, I have still been treating him with disrespect and defiance. He was at his wits end with me and had good reason.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;">Internally, I knew there was something wrong with my submission as well. I even wrote him an email a little while back telling him how I feel I have lost it and I’m scared that I can’t get it back. I </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">didn't</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> know what to do and we came up with a few ideas that might work for us. These ideas are still great things and need to continue to take place, but it </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">wasn't</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> enough for me to pull myself out of this selfish and devastating funk I have been in.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;">We both knew there was a problem but it </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">wasn't</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> really until today that I finally realized what it was. It is not the stress, it is definitely NOT Chief at all, it is ME. He has been doing his part in the relationship x10 and yet I have been giving almost nothing in return and the connection between us has been getting worse and worse because of it.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of why I am in this kind of relationship to begin with. I have a need to be submissive and to give myself to Chief; to serve him, to obey him, to love him, to… well… submit. I also have this need to be dominated by him and to feel his control and power over me, making me feel safe, loved and secure. It keeps me grounded. It is not just a need, but it is also a want. It is a want that I struggle with allowing myself to let go and be, but it is still a want. Lately I have been getting the dominance part of that need, but I haven’t been getting the submissive part, because I have been denying myself the chance to give it to Chief. The ironic thing is, I stubbornly fight this need to submit even though I truly want it and when I do fight it and my stubbornness wins, I am left feeling lonely, sad and ashamed, but when I give into that desire and truly give myself to Him, the feeling of freedom and peace is so liberating it makes me wonder why I ever fight it to begin with.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">Now, in talking about how I lost sight of my own needs and wants, I also must add that I lost sight of Chief’s needs and wants as well, which is equally if not more important that my own. Just as I have a need to be dominated, he has a need to dominate me. And like I said, that need has been getting filled, it is the other need that I lost track of. My need to be submissive is just as strong as his need for me to be submissive. That is a need for him and here I have been so selfish in my own needs that not only have I been denying myself my need for submission, but even worse I have been denying him that need to be given my submission. He collared me, I belong to him. It is my duty and responsibility to make sure his needs are being met and that I am being the best sub I can for him and lately… well, I have failed miserably.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;">But thankfully, I have a new perspective, well not a new one actually, but the old one, the way it was in the beginning and the way it still needs to be. I </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">didn't</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> mean to get out off my path and lose my way, but it happened, subtly at first and then it just got out of control. Now it is time to come back to that place; the place where I stop fighting his dominance that I need and want so badly and that he needs and wants to give me; the place where I stop struggling with the ways he chooses to discipline me; the place where I stop arguing and negotiating and realize he is not asking me to do things, he is demanding; the place where I humbly think about why I am in trouble and being spanked and try to do better; the place where I will give everything to him and be the best I can be; the place where I will obey as opposed to being demanding; the place where I remember his needs and desires and where I strive to meet them; the place where I allow myself to be submissive for him and I respect his authority; the place where I am home…</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;">So I want to apologize to Chief for my behavior over the last month. He did not deserve the way I have been treating him but rest assured, this sub is back on her knees and back in her place and I don't ever want to get to where I was again. In fact I even asked to be punished for it, which is HUGE for me because I don't usually ask for punishments. I am not sure if he was planning on doing something about it or not, but for me to truly feel forgiven and move on I must feel that I have paid for the last several weeks. It takes a lot for me to forgive myself, even if he has already forgiven me. I also want it to serve as a reminder, however the hurt and pain I have caused Chief during this time is reminder enough, but I just want the message driven home a bit more. I want to make </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">certain</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> that I even though I will still struggle with my submission at times and my </span><span style="line-height: 25px;">stubbornness</span><span style="line-height: 19.2pt;"> will continue to get me into trouble, that I will never fall into a funk as disrespectful and hurtful as the one I have. It is not who I want to be and it is not who Chief deserves. That punishment will be tomorrow and I am both fearing it immensely, especially since it includes things we have never done, but also yearn for it, so my slate will finally be clean and my conscience cleared and we can get back to enjoying our relationship, rather than just trying to make it work. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">I also want to thank Chief because without his patience, love and understanding, I don't know if any normal man would have put up with me and my attitude and behavior the last month. If I had any doubt of his love before, or any reason to believe he was going to leave me, it is gone now. He is more than amazing and I am beyond blessed by him. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">To Chief...</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Proszę mi wybaczyć. Jesteś moim kompas i moja świecącą gwiazdą, a ja za tobą. Proszę kierować moją drogę. Bez Ciebie jestem zgubiony. Dziękuję za wszystko jesteś i wszystko co robisz. Bardziej niż cokolwiek cię kocham.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2pt;">~cas[C]</span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-55370777187902190352012-03-27T19:10:00.003-07:002012-03-27T19:30:11.857-07:00“Under stressful times I will be especially careful in the way I talk to Chief”....<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, the last few weeks have been packed with enormous amounts of stress for me. I used to be able to handle stress pretty well, but now when things get stressful, I have horrible anxiety attacks. I worry, I cry, I stress, I get flustered, overwhelmed and irritated.<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see the problem is, I am a woman… meaning I am emotional. I handle stress with crying, desperation, sadness, panic and hopelessness. I tend to focus on the negative aspects of the situation and how horrible and overwhelming it is making my life rather than the solution or the cause.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That is where Chief comes in. He is the exact opposite of me when it comes to handling stress. He is a solver, a fixer, a thinker (no wonder he is a math geek :P) so his approach is to figure out what caused the problem, and focus on a way to change it. He remains calm, logical, and positive. He patiently listens to my cries, rants, and fits of frustration before offering his help in the matter by explaining what I should do to improve it. And if there isn’t a solution, he will still be there to comfort, console, hug and try to calm me down, encouraging me to take it to God and pray about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I NEED to do in these chaotic times is to stop, breathe, pray and listen to my wise and supportive Chief. He is always on my side in that he is ALWAYS trying to help me and offer the support I need, whatever that may be.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But do I do this???<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NO, not usually and I am not proud of that. Instead, I am so wrapped up in the overwhelming emotions that I don’t see that he is trying to help and I just snap at him. Those who know me know that I am a sassy girl to begin with and more than that, I am stubborn, and I mean STUBBORN. So even if I hear what Chief has to say, if it goes against what I think is the right thing to do or it is something I don’t want to do, then chances are I will get defensive and open my mouth, and not to say the words “you are right Sir” or “thank you”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, I have this awful habit of speaking before I think, and when you mix that with my stubbornness and frazzled nerves, the outcome isn’t pretty. It usually ends in me saying something I will regret, yelling at Chief and treating him with disrespect. I don’t do it on purpose, but it is a pattern that occurs way too often.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now Chief is a very, and I mean very patient and tolerable man, especially when I am under enormous amounts of stress. However, even a patient man will eventually reach his limit and when that happens, when I finally cross that line after several warnings, he brings the hammer down hard. (Actually hammer isn’t the right word, it is more like hand, paddle, belt, etc… but you get the picture)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJfGlbY6SyujFiMl26xFKxd1HcSfnjn8fMiNjNoER482aNkYyLNunRhqx2AGfz_tc9ZIrURNIMPBC7xNrJXdaIrr_c1Rr4x5bkLbX9KTioVWv_zAePuucd2jERIMRINadAbpSC9ZzzARd/s1600/spoon..JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJfGlbY6SyujFiMl26xFKxd1HcSfnjn8fMiNjNoER482aNkYyLNunRhqx2AGfz_tc9ZIrURNIMPBC7xNrJXdaIrr_c1Rr4x5bkLbX9KTioVWv_zAePuucd2jERIMRINadAbpSC9ZzzARd/s200/spoon..JPG" width="200" /></a></div><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, he finally had enough a few days ago and I found myself once again, over his knee, kicking and crying as he paddled my bottom with the sassy spoon (this wicked wooden spoon specifically designated for taming my tongue). But that was not all he did…he also gave me lines to write.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(A drawing that Chief did to logolize the darn wooden spoon, I hate the implement, but i gotta say that the little customized logo is pretty cool LOL)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hate lines. They are not hard to do, but I just hate them. They are time consuming and make my hand hurt. But more than that, they force me to constantly think about what I did and reflect on my actions for every sentence I write. It is like a painful little jab each time I finish one, knowing I have so many more to go Being a stubborn girl, I hate to be constantly reminded of my mistake and would much rather just take a spanking and be done with it. This is also why, unfortunately for me, lines work pretty well usually, especially when accompanied with a spanking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_y7A9E2vju6mn0CEq3Fw5REPJE6CDz3iXmsLpUHx-IpGVGzeztnw7pJCkU-qWZGdzZpeTu6r-R1QMjXFnHJj4HhnkTznsiPI1XGDJHI69JB-qucu5a3mXDeMmabjJV7wzrUUs0_rWFmV/s1600/lines.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_y7A9E2vju6mn0CEq3Fw5REPJE6CDz3iXmsLpUHx-IpGVGzeztnw7pJCkU-qWZGdzZpeTu6r-R1QMjXFnHJj4HhnkTznsiPI1XGDJHI69JB-qucu5a3mXDeMmabjJV7wzrUUs0_rWFmV/s400/lines.jpg" width="301" /></a></div><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here I sat, on a sore bottom and wrote “Under stressful times I will be especially careful in the way I talk to Chief” 195 times. Now I know most of you are saying, 195? Why not make it an even 200? The thing is, I have OCD and everything I do must me in a multiple of three, which even goes with punishments (i.e…number of swats, lines, or minutes etc…). And actually, because I didn’t plan these lines out right, I was left with the last page only having 3 lines, and since that didn’t look right, I ended up doing 207 lines instead. No, I am not an over-achiever in this or trying to brown-nose. I just have issues LOL<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyways, the lines are done, my bottom is still sore but I know I have been forgiven. I hope that the combination of this was enough to finally get through to me to appreciate and respect Chief when he is just trying to help me during difficult times and not to snap at him with attitude. Once again, I am sorry Sir and thank you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 18px;">~cas[C] </span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-6475625430257544072012-03-25T23:11:00.006-07:002012-04-08T12:02:45.244-07:00Location, Location, Location<div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In real estate there is a slogan about the impact of a property sale, “Location, Location, Location.” Well the same is true about behavior. Just like in property, two houses may be the exactly same but the location makes all the difference in cost.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now cas can get this wild streak in her and when that happens, her behavior gets a bit sassy and she does not listen; stubbornness just flows out of her like a fountain. You can be rest assured I get her back in step quickly when I feel it has gone to far.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But occasionally, (and this is a rare occasion) she will get this wild streak in public. This public behavior increases the consequence of her actions because of "Location, Location, Location" This behavior is met with a stiffer punishment because of her representing me and because I am mortified with her behavior. Some times she will do this behavior and then realizing that I can not do anything about the behavior will then challenge me by flashing me a look, as if to say, "you can't do anything here, ha ha". Boy does that make my blood boil. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This last week cas had an melt down in public and again I was pretty livid. I am glad I didn't have the opportunity to take care of it until the next day. This offered me time to cool down so I wouldn't paddle her out of anger. But she did pay more than if she had had that same behavior in private. My hand got quite a workout as she lay draped over my lap, as well as this small OTK cane we have. I trust this one be the last time, but I hope the time she spent over my lap sinks in a bit more than other punishments and she thinks twice before behaving like this in public where her actions both embarrass and reflect on me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]</span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-15254502842492032092012-03-24T15:06:00.007-07:002012-03-24T15:09:56.748-07:00Love verses frustration<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I am about to type is stereotype but like most stereotypes they are based on some truth. All men think about is sex, all women like to shop for shoes and clothes. They are not 100 percent true but I am willing to bet that the majority of those two stereotypes are true. With that being said, please don’t beat me up for the following post. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women are emotional creatures and follow their heart and men think logically and try to rationalize it and come up with solutions based on the logic behind it (cas and I are pretty close to that template of men and women). Both have their place and both are necessary in different situations. For example: Giving money to a person who needs it, with a strong possibility of it never being repaid would not be a logical thing to do. However, the emotional thing might be right and following your heart in that situation would more than likely be following a Christ like situation in helping meet others needs physically. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now cas makes a lot decisions based on emotions and at times it drives me a bit crazy. I try to logically think of things to a logical solution. Now in our relationship I have 51% of the vote and although I cherish her input, I still have the final say (Sometimes that input is harder to listen to when she whines and pleads).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This last week really felt like she took my ideas, tossed them aside and just ran with her own, and the results were disastrous. I know she understands that I want nothing more than her safety and wellbeing, but this week’s results ended with her safety and wellbeing being in jeopardy. I tell her what to do logically and she thinks her way is better. The results were that she got hurt, almost had her laptop stolen, and lost a lot of money. So after a talking to (lecture) and some correction (punishment) I believe she and I are on the same wavelength. I pray this will not happen again. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chief [c]</span></div>Chief[c]http://www.blogger.com/profile/05522358302681677182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4760711683093852523.post-34757709726361229242012-03-24T13:12:00.000-07:002012-03-24T13:12:08.188-07:00TGIOver... (Last Saturday)<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 3.0pt; mso-outline-level: 3;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16.8pt;">I got my laptop back today and I am sooooooooooooo glad this week is over, but there has been some blessings intertwined in the week as well. I got a job for one, something I desperately needed for more income. My laptop was not in the case, so that was saved. The man could have beaten me more, raped me or had a gun. The elderly couple that was so comforting and nice. I am thanking God in the storm and praising him. So many things could have gone worse and I am still here and with only minor injuries. This week has been trying to say the least but it has taught me several things… 1. Listen to Chief, he knows what he is doing and what he tells me is always with my best interest in mind. 2. Don’t put off things because when you eventually really need them, that is when you will not have them. 3. Plan accordingly and make sure I know the exact bus route if I ever have to again. 4. Pay more attention at dark, carry pepper spray and actually just don’t ride at night would be the best thing. And 5, don’t get so worked up, worried and stressed over little things because in the end with faith, God will work it out. I need to let go and let God more often and trust him more completely. He has never failed me yet and I am sure he never will. I need to be more thankful for what I have and know that I will be taken care of. So thank you God for taking me under your wing and keeping me safe this week.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 3.0pt; mso-outline-level: 3;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 3.0pt; mso-outline-level: 3;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also want to thank my amazing Dom, for without him I would not have gotten through this week either. And despite my emotional outbursts, my anxiety attacks, my sassy stressed comebacks, and my stubborn pride, he still loves me and has my back always…even if it also comes with a price to pay on my backside as well. Thank you Babe and I love you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 3.0pt; mso-outline-level: 3;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 3.0pt; mso-outline-level: 3;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~cas[C] </span><span style="color: #6b55aa; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>casrep[C]http://www.blogger.com/profile/13842548696381743876noreply@blogger.com0